Tuesday, August 25, 2015


We're in the final countdown week of this pregnancy adventure. Which means waiting, something I'm terrible (TERRIBLE!) at. With the exception of pain and manual labor/chores, I'm probably the most impatient person you have ever met in your life. So this is yet another growth experience - to me, love The Universe.

I'm trying to adapt. With all of the baby projects complete (exception: disability paperwork*) I've been nesting other places. Like organizing my office, getting the garden/yard somewhat in order, having folks over for dinner, filing old paperwork, and you know - going on a last trip to Canada at 38 weeks (Photos from Niagara on the Lake).

Basically I'm bored with waiting. And even though everyone (EVERYONE!) keeps telling me to put my very swollen feet up or take a nap - I'm sorry ya'll, I just cannot. I wasn't built to sit still unless I'm procrastinating (something I am very good at). The baby will come of course when he is good and ready. I'm sure I'll miss the days of regular sleep, but I'm also really excited to get on with it. I'm good under that kind of pressure; a challenge to survive and own a difficult situation is my forte. It's the waiting...the patience...the "just be"... that I'm no good at.

Jonesing for the latest photos of the nursery? Here ya go. It's finally finished. Thanks to everyone who helped make it beautiful and this mama's dream come true.

*Bonus rant: How on god's green earth is any new mama supposed to chase down all of the info they need after birth? If we can't fix family leave in this country, can we at least fix disability/pregnancy paperwork? For Pete-sakes!

Friday, July 03, 2015

Nursery Glimpses...

On a lighter note, here are a few pictures of the "still in progress" nursery. At least we're on final painting (think cabinet doors and changing table pieces) and finishing touches (like the big piece of artwork, cabinet knobs, and pictures.)

At first, I wasn't nesting at all. Then I was nesting my gardening.

Now I'm starting to get into it, which is reassuring.

It helps to have a husband who likes a honey-do list, is a very good painter, and has the same general taste as you.

Oh, and one who doesn't mock your insistence on how to hang a proper curtain (which is ABOVE the window, by the way. And usually much wider than the window. This is my gift to you.)

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Missing things...

I'm going to be very honest here, because why not - I miss not being pregnant. It's something I've struggled with for 31 weeks now - so much so that therapy is necessary (and helpful) but there are still days that I want to curl up in a ball, cry, and just wait for this to be over*.

Today I'm feeling particularly self-indulgent and at the risk of sounding ungrateful, here's a list of the latest things I miss, now 31 weeks into this:

  1. I miss just falling asleep, on my back, without something constantly moving inside me
  2. I miss being able to write uninterrupted without something moving inside me
  3. I miss being peaceful without something moving inside me
  4. I miss being alone
  5. I miss life without unsolicited advice
  6. I miss people saying hello and what's up instead of how are you feeling and how far along are you
  7. I miss people asking about me & my life instead of this baby's progress
  8. I miss my body not being the center of attention
  9. I miss life not revolving around some pill, supplement, or medicine I have to take
  10. I miss having sex like a normal person instead of a hippo
  11. I miss eating real meals
  12. I miss seeing a beauty of a summer dress in the mall and being able to try it on
  13. I miss loving to cook
  14. I miss being able to bend over
  15. I miss running
  16. I miss making changes
  17. I miss people filtering
  18. I miss not seeing a Dr for months
  19. I miss long non-sober talks with friends about life and crazy dreams
  20. I miss my friends who do not have babies
  21. I miss my room of my stuff all organized and pretty
  22. I miss my life not revolving around some part of pregnancy
  23. I miss traveling
  24. I miss being nimble
  25. I miss feeling like myself

*We don't talk about it; because we still like to believe in the mythical pregnancy, (Pregnancy is the best! Pregnancy makes you glow! Every girl waits her whole life to be pregnant! It's the best decision you'll ever make!) but pregnancy depression is a real thing. It doesn't have to be postpartum. As someone who has (is) living through it, if this is you - please tell your doctor. Getting treatment, whatever that may be for you, really does help. And hopefully so does knowing you are not a bad person, a freak, crazy, or alone.

Thursday, June 04, 2015


The weather in Rochester hasn't committed to it being summer yet. Some days it's 85, some days it's 55. Either way since we're in the last summer Matt and I will ever have as a twosome, I thought I'd make a list of things I hope to do before Labor Day (which just happens to match the general go! time for this babe.)

  1. Lay on the sands of Ontario Beach
  2. See Rochester's version of Shakespeare in the Park
  3. Read The Widow Clicquot in the hammock (as recommended by a new friend and subsequently dream of the day my body will accept VC again with open arms)
  4. Find a yoga studio I like so that after the baby comes I can escape
  5. Make a trip for dinner to Mr. Chicken
  6. Take full advantage of Club V's swimming pool and new heater
  7. Finally track down Elderflower Presse and lazily drink on Grace's front porch
  8. Take down all of the doors in the house and have a painting party to just get 'em all done outside
  9. Celebrate the Fourth of July with friends/family and make that traditional berry flag cake
  10. Make one more trip to Canada as a twosome, and if I can manage to sit that long, let it be Toronto